Cotham Park RFC The closest Rugby club to Clifton in Bristol

Gloucester 3 South - Saturday 10th December 2005

After last weeks win over Wotton, there was an air of optimism around the Cotham Park faithful. A victory would keep the possibility of promotion alive and having not lost to Bristol Telephones for over 3 years the odds looked good.

Strangely, having struggled with 16 and 17 players for most of the season, the prospect of a try enticed some of the more experienced club members out to play. The extra numbers swelled an already strong squad to 22. Sadly the Telephones facilities struggled to cope. The changing room was more like a prison cell but smaller, darker, and less comfortable.

The warm up was comprehensive. Drills were practiced, limbs were stretched, calls were confirmed, adrenaline was pumped. Everyone was determined to start the game strongly... well all except one. To save him losing face let's call him "Hoe Jansen". When everyone else was on the pitch, fire in their eyes, aggression coursing through their veins, ready for kick-off, Hoe was in the changing room "looking for his shirt". Seconds passed, minutes passed, concentration dropped until finally Hoe made it onto the pitch. Fortunately he was made aware of his mistake, in a manner that only someone as experienced with language as Desmond can manage - "Hurry up you fu**in' c**t!". Shakespeare would have been proud.

Finally the game kicked off. Park secured the ball and set up a solid maul. Ricky chose to opt for position, and hoofed the ball up field. The Telephones full-back struggled to judge both the flight and the bounce of the ball to give Mike Bryant a sight of the line. He sprinted, jinked, dummied, pirouetted, and then... got crunched. Quick ball from the maul allowed Dom exploit space on the blind side, brush off a weak tackle cross the line and head towards the posts. Ricky slotted away the conversion. 7-0.

The second try was not far behind. A period of sustained pressure on the Phones line, saw Simon Freeguard exploit more bad tackling. A pick up from the back of the maul, sprint across the pitch, cut inside through flailing arms and finish under the posts.

Two tries in quick succession had raised the hopes of the travelling fans. 14 points in as many minutes brought forth thoughts of a 60 point drubbing. That wasn't to be. The resilience of the home side started to show. Strong forward play and consistent offences at ruck and maul, gave the home side good position on the Park line. A driven lineout narrowed the difference to 7 points.

Park responded directly from the kick off. Hoe Jansen, caught the Telephones catcher in possession and the resulting maul was driven forward by the Cotham pack. A freak refereeing decision gave the scrum to Telephones but they only cleared to the 22. The play stayed in the home 22 as constant pressure up front made it difficult for them to clear their lines. After a number of minutes of scrum followed by line out the pressure started to tell. A good driven scrum 5 yards out saw Simon go for glory hoping to emulate his earlier try, but from short range. He made the line only to be flipped on his back like a pancake by the home side - scrum 5. Having been shown up, the ex-winger decided that from the result scrum, it might be best to let the backs have a go. Sure enough, the speed merchants showed the mud monkeys how to do it. Where ten minutes of grunt up front, had yielded nothing, the backs managed to slice through the home defence with deceptive swiftness to send Stringer through unchallenged, under the posts. 21-7.

Half time, saw Chaz make way for the nimbler Rob Cummings. The management obviously hoping to take advantage of the tiring Telephones pack.

The second half started and immediately Park found themselves under pressure. Some "odd" refereeing decisions and poor discipline at the ruck saw Steve and Hoe sin binned for offences at the ruck. Under pressure, inside their own half, with 13 men and the Cotham Park defence could easily have crumbled. Not so. Some desperate scrummaging by the forwards to avoid a pushover try and dogged defence by the backs pressured Telephones into a mistake. Their centre fumbled a bad pass only to see it fail into the hands of Stringer. Deceptively fast, he sprinted up the pitch, sensing the chasers getting closer, he hoofs it up the pitch hoping to emulate the famous Serge Blanco try against England. Sadly there was no one in position to latch on to the lose ball and it was picked up by a Phones player. The ball was quickly lost at the maul, and the move finished with Dan Clarke stretching out a solitary arm to place the ball over the line. 26 - 7.

A double substitution saw Quinny leave the pitch with a rib injury to make way for Olly Clark. Simon moved to a slightly more familiar position in the centre with Olly taking up the duties of scrum half The prospect of more ball made the backs immediately perk up. At the same time Terry - Gimli - Robinson made way for Des. The former captain making his first start since injuring his foot kick boxing.

Try 6. Well lets just say it was the best of the lot. This reporter has to admit that while he was cleaning his glasses, he might have missed it. Craig Coulstring, assures me that it was a try of such stunning individual talent and skill that spectators and opponents alike, were literally crying tears of joy at the beauty of it. 31 - 7

Try 7 was a different matter entirely. A Park scrum led to a glittering backs move with the ball passing through at least 7 pairs of hands on its way to the wing. The Telephones winger managed to hold the Park man up just short of the line. However support was on hand. Des grappled the ball away from the man on the floor, dropped it, dived over the ruck, passed it forward, got it back, fell over, and then failed to ground it. 36 -7.

Try 8 was preceded by much try avoidence. Balls were dropped, final passes were forward. Eventually something worked. A flowing backs move ended with the ball in the hands of James Faulkner. The nippy winger beat his man for pace on the outside and finished off the move and the game under the posts. 43 - 7