Cotham Park RFC The closest Rugby club to Clifton in Bristol

Cotham Start the Fireworks Early

On the day that Guy Fakes tried and failed to blow up parliament, Cotham Park succeeded in destroying Saracens 3rd XV. There were some moderate fears as to the player quality that the visitors would bring as the rumour was their 2nd XV had been disbanded…

Cotham fielded an eclectic mix of players ranging from a few 1st teamers, majority development team and a good sprinkle of newbies to the club (and rugby itself). There was very little senior expertise in our team and this seemed to be reflected in the Saracens squad as each team had a token bald guy (sorry Freeguard).

Here’s the team;
Forwards
Jonny Kiwi, Jonny A, Fat Legs, James, Rob Frimin, Alan Proudfoot, Rob Pinchin, Andrew Edwards, Chris Todd, Ken, James Sage, Alec, Fresh

Backs
Simon Freeguard, Damien Myres, Tod Tryers, Matt Ace, Elliot, Ben Higham, Lorenzo, Wellsey, Danny

Park had a progressive start as the players had a brief warm up and were still learning each others names and the relevant lineout calls and backs moves. An early kick from the opposition was caught by full back Ben in the 22, marked, and then kicked for touch. The kick however was caught by their big centre with Ben and Jonny Kiwi following. Ben made the initial tackle, going low. Jonny went high a split second later. Being ginger was the least of this poor guy’s problems as he lay on the floor for the next 3 minutes.

The forwards went from strength to strength, lead by example from Jonny A and Jonny Kiwi. Cotham pressed towards their 5 metre line and continued to pile on the pressure. A penalty was conceded. Rob Frimin Tapped and rumbled through the defence making it look far too easy, try Cotham.

The scores didn’t come too quickly to start with. Cotham’s main offensive weapon was Damien who had more steps than a staircase, foxing their heavy footed number 10 (he is a lummox but had a good boot). The back row and supporting backs tried hard to keep pace with Damien but Saracens did manage to spoil a few recycles from the initial line break. By the end of the game the support was ample; a player each side of the ball carrier screaming for a pass that would grace that man a try (this white line fever made Pete Docherty’s habit seem purely recreational).

The forwards did well, opposing lineouts were often won, twice due to Alec’s long arms, and turnovers were made. This solid work gave the backs a good platform to attack from in Saracen’s half of the pitch. Usual formula effected; a line break from Damien, 2 quick recycles by the back row and a cool headed offload from Jonny Kiwi gave Ben Higham an easy run in for a try in the corner but the despondent defence allowed him to run up towards the posts (with ball in one hand, paranoid Ken was shouting “Use two hands!” [noted for next time]). Damien added the extras.

Credit to the forwards must be given for sucking in the Saracen players at the breakdown and creating space for wingers like Wellsey to run in. That was only half the battle won but Wellsey had the strength to break through tackles and score a try. Cotham forwards continued to out muscle the opposition at set pieces thanks to our big strong lads including both Robs.

I think Damien got the last try of the half thanks to his jinking sidestep and 40 yard run to the posts.

Half time

Captain Matt Ace started the half time team talk by stating that we should not lose our discipline despite our early lead. Also we were playing uphill in the second half which always slows us down a bit. Many substitutions were made to get some fresh legs on the pitch, especially to get Fresh’s legs on the pitch (Fresh always greets people with a smile that suggests everything will turn out dandy).

Toddy two tries Tryres was certainly an impact sub, and as his name suggests, made two tries. His honed skills as a scrum half saw two opportunities and he took them scoring the teams 5th and 6th try. I can’t speak any more about this player as his identity should remain mysterious.

Saracens started to get a bit miffed after 6 tries with no reply. Their number 10 kept us pinned ten metres off our try line for a spell with his boot. This involved numerous lineouts, thanks to ball not being straight, dropped / knocked on balls and worst of all throwing the ball before the ref was ready after the 4th re-set. It was a shambles! The backs were getting cold waiting for this ironic tribute to school rugby to end. Finally the backs got it but then a penalty was awarded to Cotham…

Damien, as usuall went to kick the ball to clear our lines but didn’t make touch. The winger caught it and ran straight - he made about ten yards before BOOM! The surrounding fields, trees and clubhouse reverberated with the shockwave created when Ben Higham speared the poor lad into touch. It was the kind of tackle that makes you smile when you go to bed and dream of making big hits in happy sleepy rugby land against the sneaky French and afterwards the Welsh legends Sam Warburton and Jamie Roberts congratulate you by giving you a big man hug and their big guns just make you feel so safe…

Anywho, Cotham pressed back into Saracen territory, testing their defence with cheeky overhead kicks. A combination of favourable bounces and quick reactions from Saracens was their saving grace. Finally they regained some pride from a scrum on our 5 metre, getting a try after their centre stopped and pirouetted through perhaps weak tackles from our centres.

The 7th Cotham Try started with Ben who marked a failed drop goal on the 5 metre. The kick to touch was contemplated but numerous shouts to “Tap and go!” made the full back do just that. A quick dash upfield followed by an overhead kick caught the defending team unawares, their sluggish number 10 gathered the ball but was instantly immobilised by Ben. The resulting offload was poor as was the attempted clearance kick which was caught by winger Danny for a try. The conversion was taken by fat legs. Given the amount of kicking practice he does you would think he’d get a bit closer to the posts.

Damien got one more try, which in a way is like a bad threesome - he scored at each end.

On more worthy mention to our team, Andrew Edwards is coming along very nicely indeed; he is a solid in the scrums, a nuisance at the break-down (for the other team) and made a decent run in the last two minutes from a deft sidestep.

Final Score 50 – 7. Kazam!

Man of the Match: Damien

Sweet dreams,

Ben