Cotham Park RFC The closest Rugby club to Clifton in Bristol

Broad Plain Prove Too Strong for Park

Its 00:22, the Monday morning after the game; I have to get up for another whole week of work in a few hours. But for some reason, I lay awake in my comfy, warm bed, with a sore left shoulder and a face still burning from Saturday’s match, thinking about Cotham Park RFC. My second and third thoughts are of the potential friendly next week against an as yet un-found opposition, and the potential debauchery, and subsequent hangover resulting from the forthcoming “Gentlemen’s Soiree” (as Pete Ashby so articulately puts it; I would say its going to be more of a “Thug’s Shindig”). But my first, and most prominent thought, is “why?”...why the hell are we losing these games.

Saturday 19th December 2011 was a beautiful day for rugby. The sun was peaking through a white-cloud sky, providing enough light and heat for even the most reptilian of summer-lovers (I’m looking at you Wellsy). Broad Plain’s flashy club house and sandy pitch sits in a hole; hole in a “lego-land” housing development in darkest Bedminster. And it wasn’t long before the boys where voicing their criticisms of the perfectly clean, but shoe-box sized changing rooms, and the even smaller car park. However, Mr Day’s now famous distaste for our Bristol rivals was nowhere to be seen. He instead turned his attention to a very mature approach of providing advice and encouraging words for the squad. The warm up was aggressive and focused, and the feeling amongst the team was positive, even with some rather interesting selections within the line-up:

1. John Williams
2. Phat Legs
3. Keifer Sutherland
4. Victor
5. Ron Pinchin
6. Marcus Aurelius
7. Pete Ashby
8. Johnny A

9. Damo
10. Matt Ace
11. Wellsy
12. Dom
13. Ben Higham
14. Elliott Broadley
15. Brian Potato

16. James Herb Salad
17. Daniele Bacardi
18. Shaun the Sheep Day

And so with Matt Ace starting at fly-half, Ben moving from full-back to centre, Brian slotting in at 15, James Sutherland coming into the front row, and a new partnership of Victor and Rob at locks...it was time for kick-off.

Having played Broad Plain once already this season in the cup, we knew we were in for a game. Early plays saw Cotham defend their 22 while the home side threw the ball about a bit, looking to sound out the visitors. Cotham’s D was strong and powerful, oft driving the on-rushing Plain forwards back in the tackle. Some early defensive kicks from Matt at 10 swung between “OK” and “loose” as he found his range (whatever that means), while the forwards held their own at the set piece. An infringement at the break down handed the home 10 had an opportunity to slot a penalty for the first points, and he duly obliged. 3 – 0 Plain.

The pattern of the early exchanges continued. Cotham where being pinned back in their own territory by some fine kicking from the opposition fly-half, while their wingers made some yards with line breaks in open play. It was evident that Cotham would have to retain some possession in order to get ourselves up the field. The tackling continued to be brutal; Pete Ashby making some massive hits on bigger men in our own 22. While the backs didn’t allow the opposition to play; great pressure from Dom and Ben Higham in midfield leading to some turnovers. But the Plain pressure eventually took its toll. Communication broke down (or ear’s needed cleaning, depending on who you ask) at a scrum on the Cotham 22, the home side’s lanky No. 8 strolling in for the try, no conversion. 8 – 0.

This seemed to light a fire under the arses of the visitors, as for the last 15 minutes of the first half, Cotham where exceptional. The forwards began to get the upper hand at scrums and break downs (even if our lineouts where a complete lottery), with great work around the fringes from the back row and big Victor. The backs’ first real ball of the half saw Dom make a telling break in midfield. 2nd phase ball again went to midfield where Ben Higham’s kick was charged down. But never one to give up on a lost cause, he hunted down and battered his opposite number, facilitating yet another turnover from the Cotham forwards. More scrappy lineout ball saw the backs play with little space. However, Matt Ace reverted to type and ran directly at his opposite number, who didn’t feel like tackling...A couple of phases later, with the ball sweeping from Wellsy to Elliott and back again, we were on the brink of a try, only for Broad Plain to turn it over, and clear their lines. But alas, Cotham came back; Wellsy collecting the clearance kick and scything his way past the on-rushing defence. He combined well with Elliott, who stepped and offloaded, setting up the next breakdown. The ball came again to Dom who broke the gain line. A couple of phases on the Plain 5 yard line resulted in a Cotham scrum; which was turned over, and the half ended in an anti-climax.

There are two reasons for the extended monologue of the last 15 of that half. One is because it was our best phase of the game, even if it ended fruitless. And two, because Dom wouldn’t have remembered it...seen as a knock on the head had prompted memory loss, and headaches while moving. I.e. if he stood still, his brain functioned, otherwise no. Other injury reports from that half was Brian’s suspected broken jaw; that is, suspected until Karl asked him to see if he could open and close his mouth, to which he replied with a high-pitched cry of “POTATO!!” (that might not have happened): injury worry over.

The halftime team talk was positive. Karl, Dom and Marcus demanding the same intensity that saw Cotham’s defence, albeit for a single lapse, hold firm for the first forty.

The second half kicked off, and the play hovered around the half way for the first exchanges. Both sided had player’s limping about as injuries surfaced in what had become a brutal encounter. The hits where getting bigger, and after sterling tackles from Ashby and Higham in the first half it was the unlikely double-team of Victor (high) and Matt Ace (low), stopping Broad Plain’s trail-blazing green-booted centre in his tracks (I do believe he more-or-less left the ball alone after that hit, his own fault for the stupid haircut and the even stupid-er boots), Matt making up for yet more loose kicks (give him a break, first game at 10!).Conversely, good kick returns from Brian, Wellsy and Elliott kept Cotham on the front foot, the forwards continuing their excellent work at the breakdown and scrums (lineouts - still “meh”). Excellent carries from Marcus, Victor and the ever-present Pete Ashby eventually put Cotham in yet another good position. The backs where getting excited at the prospect of some clean ball, on the front foot, in the Plain half; but the forwards (deservedly) had other ideas, Marcus picking up from the base of a ruck and driving over for the score, Damo just pushing the conversion wide. 8 – 5.

The ‘Park excitement was rife, that was until Plain pushed their way down field and scored an identical try of their own.

From here on in each side went through patches of good play, but the game descended into a scrappy affair. The broad plain fly-half used his siege-gun boot to good effect, yet Cotham had chances to bring the scores back near-level that where not taken. After an excellent shift in midfield, Dom was eventually replaced by Andy Day, pushing Matt Ace to 12. And with Cotham attempting to force the game, they where caught short trying to play too much rugby in their own 22, gifting the home side a score to take the game away from the visitors. In the process, Brian got absolutely nailed in a tackle that can only be described as “sickening”. As he lifted his slight frame off the ground to collect Mr. Day’s pass, the opposition centre drilled the Irishman in the ribs with a thud, and a pleading cry of “POTATO!!!” as Brian was taken to ground (that may not have happend).

Nevertheless, Cotham continued on. Another swift score by Plain saw their lead extended to 27 – 5, and Cotham where left playing for pride. With 10 minutes on the clock, Cotham’s forwards, who had been excellent all day (saves for the lineout), rumbled up field. A superb driving maul eventually saw Rob “Ron” Pinchin burrow over for the score, and the game ended soon after. Final score, 27 – 12.

Unlike the losses against Aretians and BAC, the over-riding feeling afterwards was positive (there was even energy enough to quiz Wellsy as to his reasons for not coming to the Gentlemen’s Soiree the following weekend. Apparently, he’s going curtain shopping, and if he gets some, he’ll be needing tie-backs and matching bed linen).

In truth, every member of the Cotham team played out of their skins, including substitutes Day, Daniele and Sage, making telling contributions on arrival; the home-sides tries coming in the main from Cotham mistakes. Tackling was excellent, as was the scrums and work at the breakdown from the full 15. Discipline was also a positive, something we have rarely been able to say after matches this season. But in the end, it was not to be against a well-drilled Broad Plain side. What is most important going forward is that we get some consistency within the team, and at training. And with players returning from injury over the coming weeks, competition for places should provide that extra spark that will re-light this season after a series of games we hope is a blip. But there is no point in hope. Its up to us to turn the form book on its head when Cheltenham Civil Service visit in a fortnight.

In the meantime, train hard, and good night.

Tries: Marcus, Rob Pinchin
Con: Damo (1)

Man of the Match: Pete Ashby

Matt Ace x